Pure Wisdom

I'm not entirely sure who Pat Sajak is (someone in game-shows?). All I know is that his opinion on the scientifically certain reality of global warming means a lot to me.

Enlightenment

They make androids to fuck you. They distribute used ladies underwear from vending machines. They make urinal video games. They also make this:

The Best Things in Life Happen Near ATMs

 Hot blooded Spaniards don't need your inhibitions, and this is what they think of money....


http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/couple-spain-caught-bare-naked-coupling-atm-article-1.1792101

Where Jerry Springer Meets Jordan.

What would a Middle Eastern talk show be without some furniture getting thrown, a few blows being struck, and no one actually getting hurt? If the Sunday morning news shows were structured like this, I might make a point of watching them.

The Jedi from Dubai

There's nothing wrong, I guess, with dressing up and enjoying Star Wars-even on Tattooine itself. Even so, I find a whole bunch of Storm Troopers and The Imperial Guard barreling down the desert in the back of a flatbed pick-up to be rather amusing.

The Arab Springfield

I like the food from the Middle East. I like the warmth and hospitality of the culture. I even like some aspects of Islam. Then there's Middle Eastern politics..... It's low hanging fruit, taking candy from a baby, too easy, and I'm not looking to conduct a one note symphony, but please, my  beloved Arabian pundit friends, don't make it so easy...

Gone Bananas!

There are times when I wish I didn't understand what I see. If this event were completely spur of the moment, it would be much more entertaining. In this case, the gentlemen have admirable reasons for doing what they are doing. Nonetheless, the Italian prime minister and cohorts calling a press conference to publicly eat a banana does not fail to amuse. 

The family that gets cracked up together.......

The comedian's best friend, Rob Ford, is back at it. Apparently, in a drunken stupor, he once again smoked crack. Apparently, he went over to his sister's house for a little family bonding. The family that gets cracked up together.......

Cat House

I've heard of Asian cat parties where cafe goers bring their cats to coffee houses, so they can howl, spit, and hiss at each other in a public setting. Apparently, such Asian inscrutability has made its way stateside:

Caption This

President Obama is polite and statesmanlike with everyone, including robots:

The Hazards of Statesmanship

The Middle East comes to America and yet another prominent American artfully dodges an angrily thrown shoe:

                      

Leaving The Barn Door Open

These farmers made their point by allowing their sheep to run freely in a very nice museum.

Where The Human Becomes A Chia

Heart transplants, kidney transplants, liver transplants, but somehow this one never came up on House MD:

You are What You Eat

 

More good thinking coming out of a part of the world that seems to produce a lot of good thinking:

 

 

 

 

Realpolitics

This week in Middle Eastern talks shows that devolve into brawls:

Lost in Translation

There are some rituals that do not easily lend themselves to Western understanding.

Hog Wild in Pakistan

Pakistani jurisprudence is breached and defiled by feral pork. Islamic scholars are uncertain if the grounds will have to burn subsequent to the porcine rampage.

Republican Brandishes Firearm in Crowded Room.

Mitch Mcconnell is holding up a gun. Republican like guns and begin to get whipped up into a frenzy. Apparently, there's no higher form of respect in their circles than to give the object of your admiration a gun. Apparently, brandishing guns  and waving them around at conservative events is kosher, but I still wouldn't recommend it to just anyone.

Ridin' for Syria

As one might infer, it's rare that this writer is left without comment, but this is one of those times.

Soccer, the latest contact sport.

I think we can all agree that it's about time everyone who takes to the field, rink, table, etc, be required to wear a helmet before undergoing competition. I'm still not certain if Presidential candidates should wear helmets as well....

Minor News Coming out of Egypt.

The nation of Egypt, when not being ruled by well heeled despots or embroiled in low intensity civil wars, is doing some truly miraculous things. Not only is the nation's army containing the Zionist threat and repressing its own population, it's also winning the war against disease in particular and mortality in general.

Hot Pockets May Be Unhealthy and Other Astounding Statements.

Apparently, the fat bombs known as "Hot Pockets" are, in part, being recalled. Some of the meat may be unwholesome. No worries though. Many Hot Pocket flavors are apparently still perfectly healthy aside from being "Hot Pockets."

Satan Says Murder is Bad.

Rest assured, folks. Your Satanic friends and neighbors aren't encouraging themselves to support murder. It's very important that this major religious figure weigh in with his religion's philosophy on this matter. Satanists too think murder is bad. With a little luck, your Satanist friends will be in attendance at next year's interfaith Thanksgiving potluck!

The Obama Christ

The "rapturists" are restraining themselves. Apparently, some good folks are a bit concerned that our current President might be the Anti-Christ. To be fair, the new health care website and plan is quite frustrating. Of course, the same crowd has predicted the end the end of the world on several occasions; moreover, I was lead to believe on different occasions that the big A.C. would be an Italian, Romanian, or possibly a Jewish man. 

Splat!

We don't know what was said. We don't know how this tomato tossing orgy developed, but we can't help speculate that an awful lot of fried tomatoes and ketchup were wasted in this debauchery.

Bake-Off

France and Israel have had their problems-most likely due to latent anti-semitism and the ugly aspects of Zionism, but this smooths, kneads, and bakes the tensions right out.

The Performance Art of Shia LaBeouf.

In our defense, we don't know who Shia LaBeouf is. We are compelled by his performance art, and like you, apparently, find this very relevant to an informed discourse of the days events. Cynics and psychologists may speculate that intoxicants and mind altering substances played a roll, but we think they just don't understand.

Fucking Chocolate!

  I love the courtly, graceful turns women wearing chocolate do while strolling down the runway; moreover, the stuffy cheers and polite clapping, as if this were a perfectly serious event make this all the more tasty. Americans intuitively know that this event had to take place in somewhere French was being spoken.

What Happens in New York....

This piece of fine reporting has me asking one question, "Why am I not ever invited to the good parties?"

Le sigh

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford

Toronto's Mayor Rob Ford shows his ability to relate to his diverse constituencies:

Reefer Madness

The woman- like- post- human Nancy Grace informs us that marijuana leads to stabbings, murder,  and widespread carnage.

With thanks to nevergetbustedagain.com for capturing of this gem.

Smokin' The Good Shit

As noted, the human species, for all its well deserved criticisms and beratement, never fails to come up with the goods. Once you find a chimpanzee that smokes shit and avoids water with religious zeal, than I'll cede my assessment to our primate successors. Until then, gotta love the humans.

Iraninan Sex Symbol

Oh, The Humanity!

Humanity is the most delightful species. Sure, dogs are sweeter and have a better sense of smell, the great apes use some tools and show some social sophistication, and dolphins charm new age folks from miles away, but none of those species holds a candle to the human species. The species that has mastered gunsmithing, quarreling over intangibles and nonsense, and the species that seems to creatively abuse its free will in particular when it comes to sexuality.  How can I comment directly on an article about some crazy bitch pulling a gun out of her pussy during a heated exchange about the existence aliens?

With thanks to www.uproxx.com for the link:

http://www.uproxx.com/filmdrunk/2014/01/cormac-mccarthys-ex-arrested-brandishing-gun-pulled-vagina-dispute-aliens/

Horatio Alger with a Cape

Homelessness isn't a funny, but giving homeless folks comics entitled "Superhobo" to sell on the streets of Berlin doesn't strike me as the most empowering way to help the unfortunate....

Hardened Outrage

I am outraged at this, the epitome of Western decadence. I will watch the video again and again to maintain my outrage. These terrible soldiers with their terrible and perfectly shaped breasts, asses, and v-lines must be seen in order to truly appreciate the grave threat they pose to Israel and her hostile neighbors. Put aside Israeli human rights violations, and the constant threat of fanatic Muslim terrorism and savor-I mean- scorn this filth. Kudos to YouTube and others for spreading this video of nearly naked young women in an effort to resist the sexualization of world!

You're Fat!

So many experts, thinkers, and voices of truth, and of course CNN, our conscience. Yes, our "opiner"  of righteous morality, Glen Beck skewers Chris Christi. Chris Christi is fat Glen says, along with some others in the not nice crowd. Fortunately,  CNN reports on people being mean and addresses this important issue.

Redneck Taxidermy

What would you do if you saw Bigfoot? Serious minds have always pondered this most portentous of questions. This being the United States, we realize that best way to greet a mythical beast is with a bullet. Some doubters lacking vision dare to question the validity of a proven fraud's claims, but as one daring FBI agent knows "The Truth is out There."

Terrorist T.V. Gets Violent

It's hard to fathom: violence, false allegations and hints of fanaticism on Hezbollah T.V.! Of course, I could be wrong. It may be that the accused did in fact kiss the hands and feet of Condoleeza Rice. It may be a step-up from kissing Yassir Arafat's hairy cheeks though, so one can't really blame him. Shaking hands proves a little difficult for these boys who had no doubt drank a fair amount of coffee in the green room. In the end, they both shook hands. A lesson was learned. 

Animal Magnetism

Magneto isn't the stuff of fiction. He is a man, and he is Georgian. This fine specimen hasn't learned how to hurl tanks or repel  bullets fired at him.... yet, but he is not doubt growing in power-and girth. Some snide comments indicating that talcum powder may strip this Slavic X-Man of his powers have not yet merited a response. Thank you to NDTV for this fine journalism. 

Compelling Scholarship.

Spring is the best time to find a mate, fall is a time for reflection, but never are The Jews stronger than they are now. Once more Middle Eastern politics and news media reinforces its well deserved reputation for reason and scholarship with an astrological expert keenly aware of when the magical races of peoples gain their super-powers. One should also expect to find jinn and bigfeet roaming around this time of year as well. Credit MEMRI TV on Youtube with finding and translating this enlightenment.

Not Just Another Airport Security Story

A person slipping into forbidden parts of an airport isn't all that interesting. This is nearly just such a story, but then details emerge. One such detail is that the man who trespassed into the airport ran onto the runway. He was, by the way, wearing a dress. Apparently, he had been "spooked." Apparently, dress and all, he figured out how to make his way past security fencing, past the runway and to the inside of the airport where he was stopped by security-voluntarily? In summary, the man in a dress ran across the runway into the airport. There is much that isn't clear based on CNN's television snippet,which I do not own, but I think the story is more interesting without a few details.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lan3mtnCmlw&list=WLDB06D92C522D2D3B

Happy Holidays From Peru!

Everything in Latin America is just a little more exciting than what transpires in the frigid, culturally barren North. While we in the United States are still hashing out what role Christmas should play in our increasingly secular society, some Peruvians haven't forgotten what the holidays are truly about.

Please note that I don't own much of anything. Credit for this footage goes to NDTV on  YouTube.